Relaxation: What IS it?
Most of us rely on something outside of ourselves to achieve a state of relaxation: a long walk, a hard workout, a massage, a substance, a person, a meditative practice, a TV show. But, by understanding what that state consists of, we empower ourselves to achieve it without a crutch, and to incorporate it into our daily living. Here’s the important question: what are the physical sensations of being relaxed? Try to answer that for yourself before reading on.
When you sink into a hammock, or melt into the warm sand of a tropical beach, the muscles in your body stop working to hold you up, away from the earth. At that moment, what you feel is your body’s weight. Being relaxed is the sensation of owning your body as weight, and surrendering that weight to the embrace of gravity.
To practice feeling your weight, it’s helpful to contrast the state of mild tension with the state of letting it go. In the accompanying video, I show you how that might look and feel. Try to sense what I’m feeling as you watch.
What does all this have to do with posture? Being able to accept support from the ground is essential to healthy posture. You can learn what I mean by that in my new DVD workshop: Heal Your Posture.
To practice, lie with your head on a pillow and imagine the weight of all the organs in your head–eyes, teeth, ears, the brain itself–draining downward like beads in a rainstick. Take time to sense the details of letting go of your head’s weight. Then, ever so slightly, raise your head from the support. Someone observing you might not be able to see the difference, but you’ll feel that you’re no longer at rest. Take time to fully incorporate the distinction between those two states.
The first step is learning to identify the sensation of relaxation. Then, of course, you need to practice feeling it until it becomes a viable habit. Please let me know if you can see what I’m trying to show you in the video.
Thank you, Mary. An excellent video clearly explaining that we need to allow ourselves to be aware of the weight of our body in relaxation. I’m looking forward to exploring this video some more!
Hello Mary, and thank you.
My first answer to your question where does relaxation begin was in my mind! and then in my awareness of my body weight. I could indeed “see” the differences in your states of relaxation. I think it would be fine to refer to your right and left sides when we are observing you.
I am so completely into your exercises and your “New Rules” book which I frequently gift. I’m profoundly grateful for your perspectives and instructions.
Hi Mary,
I like your video. I think it is easy to follow and actually made me want to relax here in the middle of my day. thank you.
Thanks for your comment, Liz. Lovely to “meet” you here. I’ll be glad when our physical paths cross!
That’s the best explanation of relaxing I’ve ever heard. I forwarded it to a karate student friend. The hardest thing for many adults to learn is how relax, particularly in a stressful situation. I went on to view the feet clip. Truly amazing.
I just settled into a puddle of relaxation. Awesome; thank you!!
Mary, just taking the time to listen to you speak is relaxing. Nice. Will try to remember to try the exercise tonight. Cheers!
Thank you Mary.
Yours is a great way to feel the weight of your body while laying down to sleep.
The additional videos after your video were also informative.
The first video on Guided Meditation and relaxing deeply provided supplemental information; specifically it suggested how to use breathing to help relax your body weight down–by exhaling and letting the eye balls drop toward the ground. So, I wouldn’t say that using one’s breath this way is a “crutch.”
Personally, I also use acupressure to help release tension and let go into the ground–much like the 2nd video on relaxing the TMJ.
For example, one can gently massage the inside corner of the eye (and breathe out) to help let the eye ball settle and relax in the eye socket. These techniques are not just crutches, but ways to use your mind to assist your brain to map and feel and habituate to help you to feel your weight settling into the bed.
Thanks again.
I think the image of seeds falling inside a rain stick really worked for me.
Thanks!