Perfection and PD
/A Promise
My first video workshop is called Know Your Feet. I made it because so many people are troubled by foot problems, and because improving posture involves bringing awareness to the body’s base of support. At the beginning of that video I commented that feet are so complex that my presentation would have to be the first of a two-part series on feet.
Years went by and that unfulfilled promise about a second workshop nagged at me. I prided myself on keeping promises.
Editing Myself
When online workshops became common in 2020, I finally made that second workshop. Entitled Mobile Foundations, it shares a more sophisticated understanding of foot patterns than my 2014 effort.
Recently I began editing that second foot webinar so I could offer the recording to people who didn’t attend. As I watched myself move and speak, I realized that this workshop had taken place before I began taking Parkinson’s medication. The tremor in my left arm was a constant leitmotif throughout the video, and my speech sounded slow and dull.
I’ve never been shy about having PD—I figure everybody has to have something. But I hated that it distracted from what I thought was a valuable presentation.
So I set to work. I couldn’t delete the tremor, but I eliminated some clumsy camera angles and replaced images marred by a glitch in back-end Zoom maneuvering. In the process—because of having to look at myself on the screen for many hours—I also began to edit away an ancient thread of perfectionism.
My Very Own Greek Chorus
Always. Finish. What. You. StarT.
Startandfinish, startandfinish, startandfinish….
Never Wear Raggedy Clothes in Public.
What will they think?
What will they think?
Thinkety-think?
Anything Worth Doing is Worth Doing Well
Give it your all. Your ALL! THE ALL OF YOUR ALL!
A Teacher
Recently I was invited to be part of a webinar series for which I needed to make a short marketing trailer. One morning I sat at my computer and recorded a quick message about the webinar episode I had in mind. I’d make a final version later.
When I had time to do that, I watched the draft to refresh my memory about what I wanted to say. There I sat in my cluttered office in my ratty clothes, saying exactly what I wanted to say about my prospective workshop. It felt true. Then I contemplated setting up the ring light, arranging a tasteful background, fixing my hair and make up, deciding what to wear…. and trying to replicate the authenticity of my initial “take”.
A siren went off within my body. I pulled to the curb, shaking, suddenly terribly tired.
Parkinson’s Disease is a Teacher. Stress exacerbates symptoms, so we have to become selective about the stressful things we take on. We can’t be perfectionists. Our interpretation of “doing it well” has to ease up.
